


Grumpy Uncles and Schools Far Away

by Nanyoky



Category: Gravity Falls, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Children, Alternate Universe - Gravity Falls Fusion, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Erik is a Bad Dad, Gen, dadneto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-24
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-11-29 06:17:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11434905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanyoky/pseuds/Nanyoky
Summary: Prompt from EssayOfThoughts: Maximoff twins Gravity Falls AU - the twins go to stay with "Uncle" Erik after Django and Magda die. Erik is grumpy @ them because he doesn't know they're his kids and also their antics impede his Brotherhood of Mutants plans. This in no way stops the twins.





	Grumpy Uncles and Schools Far Away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EssayOfThoughts](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EssayOfThoughts/gifts).



> This is like, months late, but I've been in such a rut. Also I sort or forgot writing for children is like... hard and stuff? So this fic may or may not only have something vaguely resembling a plot. But if you know Gravity falls, you should be able to fill in the blanks. This is also a weird mix of universes since we all know the twins are joint custody as far as movie universes and I started out life a mini xmen cartoon fanatic but am now more an avenging adult so.... combo of characters mapping to the Gravity Falls situation. Also Laura as Wendy is mostly a joke because actress. Anyway- Enjoy!

Pietro dragged his feet all the way back to the cabin. His speed could have had him there in under five minutes, but when you are heading home with just as many birthday party invitations in your backpack as you set out with, shuffling is far more appropriate.

"Earth to Wanda, come in Wanda." The walkie talkie only peaked and crackled. He went on anyway as he reached the cabin driveway. "I'm starting to think being 13 might not be as amazing as we planned. I just had the worst day. Tell Gruncle Charles you want to come back soon, okay? We have to talk."

"Hey, Boy-"

Pietro scowled at the call from the porch. He was not in the mood for added chores or casual ridicule today.

"Gruncle Erik-"

"That's not a word and I'm no one's uncle." Gruncle Erik had a pack and was flanked by two of his friends. The friends that called themselves a brotherhood. Wanda said it was a cult. Pietro thought it was too lame to be a cult. "I'll be gone for a few days. Where's your sister?"

"In the woods with Gruncle Charles."

"Well you two will have to keep the shop running. No monster hunting. And keep everything clean. I won't come back to a mess, you understand me?"

The radio in Pietro's backpack buzzed and crackled.

"Yeah."

"Good. Don't touch the basement door. And chase Charles back to his school if you can."

Pietro didn't bother to ask how two children could keep an adult as powerful as Charles Xavier from doing whatever he pleased. It was the only goodbye he expected. Once they were gone, he climbed the stairs to the attic room the twins had been sharing and curled up at the end of his bed. He took out the walkie talkie again and lifted the hood of his sweatshirt, then pulled the strings closed to block out the cheery afternoon sun.

"Earth to Wanda, come in Wanda..."

When he only received static, he sighed and gave up, thinking he might as well fall asleep until she returned.

"Ever thought of your education?"

The speaker cracked again, but he was sure that had been Gruncle Charles.

"Well- we don't know where-"

More static. Pietro pushed his hood back and stood on the mattress, lifting the radio up at different angles. Clearly they weren't talking to him. The button must be pressed up against something in Wanda's rucksack.

"I mean, after the summer is over, you'll have to go to school. And Erik doesn't know much about packing lunches and things like that."

"We can take care of ourselves."

Pietro nodded firmly in agreement.

"Of course you can, but what kind of an education can the local middle school offer you? Really Wanda, you deserve teachers who can instruct you in more than just algebra."

Pietro frowned down at the radio as it crackled and buzzed some more.

"Of course, of course. You would be welcomed completely at my school. No more hiding what you can do."

"And Pietro?"

The walkie talkie fell into static again and Pietro almost hit it against the wall before catching himself and waiting out the interference.

"-will make new friends and love it. I promise you. Your brother will be just fine."

Pietro felt the plastic of the device crack under his hands as he waited for the sound to cut out before Wanda told Gruncle Charles he could go jump in the ocean. That she couldn't go off to some fancy school where Pietro wasn't clever enough to be allowed. That they would rather live on the street together than in comfort apart. That that's what they had promised one another when their parents had died and the social workers had struggled to find their next of kin. That they had been poised to run even after a document naming a mysterious Erik Lensher as a distant relative had been unearthed and they were shipped off across an ocean and most of two continents to live with him in the North American pine forests. That they had called him "uncle" at first because no one had bothered to tell them how they were related to the stranger, and he had snapped at them. Pietro had grumbled "grumpy uncle" under his breath, and Wanda had giggled "Gruncle" until they were both laughing in the face of the strange man who scared them more than a little. No one could come between what they had. Not a grumpy uncle. And not a professor uncle either.

"That sounds... perfect, Gruncle Charles. Thank you."

~

Wanda felt like she floated all the way back to the cabin. She'd never felt so light and motivated. It was like she was buzzing with energy.

"Pietro!" The shop was empty when she opened the door. "Where are you, Pietro? I just had the most _amazing_ day!"

She half flew up the stairs to the bedroom. Seeing him sitting up in bed, she dropped her rucksack down next to his matching one near the door.

"So Gruncle Charles and I- we really need to think of a different name for him. he's not grumpy at all, he's amazing, Pietro. Wait until I tell you. Anyway- we were-" she cut herself off, frowning. "Pietro? What's wrong?"

"Is it true?" He lifted the radio on the bed next to him, but still stared at his knees. "About Gruncle Charles's school?"

"Oh- you heard that?" She hopped onto her bed on her knees, too excited to sit completely still. "Yes, isn't it wonderful? His powers are so similar to mine, he can teach me so much."

Pietro looked sick. She frowned at him and finally stilled.

"Pietro... what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" He looked up and Wanda was surprised to see he was near tears. "I just had the worst day _ever_ and now- now you're excited about leaving?"

Wanda blinked. "I- I thought you would be happy?"

"Of course I'm happy." He flopped down on the bed with his back to her, pulling his hood up.

"Oh come on Pietro - don't go to sweater town. Come out with we to find more monsters. That will make you feel better."

"I'm going out." As though he hadn't just curled up like he was going to sleep, he sat up and pulled his sneakers on.

"Great! Gruncle Charles says-"

But he was gone before she could finish. Wanda tore down the stairs, but he was using his speed to bring him out into the trees before she could reach the door.

~

Pietro didn’t know where he was when he finally stopped running. All the trees started to look the same once you got past a certain point. He slowed to a normal jog and then a walk, looking around for a familiar landmark. Eventually, he gave up and slumped against the base of a nearby redwood. He pulled his hood up and tried to drown out his pounding heart with his thoughts. But his thoughts only kept his breath coming quick and tight.

“Is that Pietro Maximoff?”

He brushed his hood back, frowning off into the bushes where the voice had come from.

“Who’s that?”

“Just me-“ Steve—the blond man Wanda insisted was a time traveler because she remembered seeing a recruitment poster in a museum that looked _just_ like him—stepped out from the trees, palms raised. “What’s wrong? You look upset, kid.”

“I’m fine.” Pietro wiped at his face automatically, even though he definitely hadn’t actually started crying because twelve was way too old to cry. “Leave me alone.”

“Well, it’s not like you’re ever really alone, is it?” Steve gave him an indulgent sort of smile before sitting down against a tree on the opposite side of the path. “You and your sister are pretty much inseparable.”

“Not anymore,” Pietro grumbled before he could stop himself. “Wanda is going to some fancy school and leaving me here.”

“She is?” To Pietro’s surprise, Steve didn’t try to tell him it was for the best or that he must be mistaken. “That’s terrible. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. Be sad here forever, I guess.”

“Or…” Steve trailed off and shook his head. “No, sorry- that idea’s no good.”

“What?” Pietro frowned at him. “What idea?”

“Just-“ Steve considered him a moment. “What if you could make the summer last forever? Then school would never come and you and Wanda could stay here- together?”

~

Wanda didn’t remember the last time she had eaten, but it didn’t matter. All that mattered was that no one knew where Pietro was. She had been wandering for what felt like years, but had really only been a few sunsets. She’d teamed up with Laura early on, but they had gotten no closer to finding anyone else in the endless hellscape that was the world Hydra had created to trap the mutants of the town.

“You doin alright, Kiddo?” Laura was back with firewood and what looked like a pair of dead squirrels she had been skinning.

Wanda nodded, but didn’t say anything as they built the fire together.

“Look, I know things are scary right now, but it’s going to be alright, okay?”

Wanda nodded again and sat back as the fire crackled to life, hugging her jacket tighter around her. “I just- I need to see Pietro, that’s all. He’s upset with me and I haven’t been able to make it better.”

Laura gave her a sad smile and squeezed her shoulder. She looked like she was about to say something, but a noise too quiet for Wanda to hear made her look up.

“Wha-“

“Sh!”

They stared off into the woods until Wanda was sure her eyes were going to dry out and fall into her lap. Laura’s hand twitched toward the ax at her side.

“Wait- don’t be scared! It’s us!”

~

Pietro wasn’t stupid. He knew something was wrong. The problem was, part of him wished he didn’t know.

It never stopped storming. The rain hammered down on the attic roof while they played board games and worked their way through an unending stack of movies they shouldn’t be watching at their age.

“I love the storm.” Wanda’s face was lit by the television screen and flashes of lightning.

“Yeah…” Pietro watched her carefully. “But it… it’s been days, hasn’t it? Or- weeks… doesn’t that bother you?”

Her smile was a little too blank and it made him feel sick. “Why would it? It’s perfect here. We’re together.”

He sighed and reached for the stack of candy between them. “It’s fine. Forget I said anything. You know I love you, right?”

She smiled wider and grabbed his hand. “Of course.”

~

“No. This has nothing to do with us.”

“But Gruncle-“

“That’s not a word and I’m no one’s uncle.”

Wanda clenched her fists at her sides. “I know you are always arguing with Gruncle Charles so you don’t want to admit you care, but what about Pietro?”

The odd smattering of mutants that had gathered in the old cabin watched Gruncle Erik as he glared at her.

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“He’s in trouble! And he’s alone!” Wanda couldn’t stop herself from shouting. “You’re our Gruncle- you’re supposed to protect us!”

“I never agreed to that.” Gruncle Erik wasn’t looking at her, but he wasn’t looking at anyone else either.

“We have to save the professor!” The girl called Kitty stood up, then winced and sat back down, pulling her twisted ankle up onto her knee.

“Come on Erik- don’t pretend you don’t know Charles would do the same for you.”

Gruncle Erik was glaring at all of them in equal measure now. “Charles has always been on the path that would bring him to an end like this. None of that is my concern.”

“And what about _Pietro_?!”

“What about him?” Gruncle Erik’s eyes were cold. “Some losses are to be expected.”

Wanda had a personal rule about using her powers against people. But fortunately, that rule did not extend to her booted feet and Gruncle Erik’s shins.

~

“We have to join hands!”

“You’ve _got_ to be joking.”

“Now’s not the time, Erik!”

Pietro gripped Wanda’s hand harder, willing their Gruncle to see reason. The wind was pulling at them, unnaturally strong as Charles and Wanda pooled their power together—joined up with everyone else—to try to gain control of reality again- to set things right. Pietro and Gruncle Charles were the only ones in the circle with a space between them. The space that Gruncle Erik was meant to occupy.

“If you think I’m going to believe that holding hands is going to make a difference-“

“Erik you stubborn bastard!” Pietro was too scared to be delighted at Gruncle Charles’s rough language. “Just take my hand and Pietro’s!”

“Gruncle Eri-“

“That’s not a word!” He didn’t even look at them to snap this time. “And I’m not your uncle!”

“Erik I swear- take that boy’s hand or I’ll-“

“I never asked to look after some stranger’s children! Or see _you_ again!”

“They’re not some strangers, you idiot! They’ve got Magda’s eyes if you’d look at them long enough to notice!”

Pietro frowned at both their gruncles before turning back to Wanda. The fear and betrayal of the day was forgotten as they exchanged an incredulous look. They’d never mentioned their mother’s name before.

“Gruncle Erik, what is he-“

“I’m not your uncle!”

“Of course you’re not you thick bastard, you’re their father!”

There was no sound but the wind for a few beats as everyone stared at Gruncle Erik and Gruncle Erik stared at Gruncle Charles.

“No I’m-“

“I can assure you, you are,” Gruncle Charles went on impatiently, his hand still outstretched. “Now, I don’t care if you’re still angry with me, but- Pietro- take my hand and let go of your sister so your stubborn _asshole_ of a father can finally help us _save the world_!”

~

The town at large seemed in a daze, but remarkably practical about the events of the past few weeks. Those with standing homes set up signups for those whose houses were destroyed to stay. Everyone uninjured focused on cleanup or care for those with broken limbs and concussions.

Gruncle Erik’s cabin was all but destroyed. But the mutants—both the brotherhood and Gruncle Charles’s students that had followed him to the town—gather there anyway. Wanda couldn’t think straight. All she could manage was to sit and hold Pietro’s hand.

“If you… I’ll understand.”

She looked up. It felt like ages since he had last spoken, and the words didn’t make any sense when at last he did.

“What?”

He was looking at a rock on the ground, nudging it with his toe.

“I- You’re always reading. You _like_ school most of the time. I… I’ll be alright. If you want to go.”

Wanda stared at him a moment, floored by the waves of sadness rolling off of him. She knew he didn’t _love_ school, but they both hated it here with Gruncle Erik. She had thought he would be at least a little pleased to leave. Anxious, sure- but that was nothing new. Pietro was always anxious.

“I just thought you would be excited too.”

“I am.” He nodded, but it was too fast and he still wouldn’t look at her. “I just… I’m going to miss you.”

It took Wanda a long time to realize what he was saying- what he thought.

“Pietro!” she stood up and yanked him to his feet with her. “You- Pietro!”

She couldn’t help but laugh as she pulled him to her, babbling and unable to explain.

“What are you-“

“ _I’m_ not going to Gruncle Charles’s school!” She finally managed to string the words together. “ _We_ are! Both of us! Do you really think I could _ever_ leave you here? That I could ever leave you _anywhere_?”

He finally hugged her back and laughed too.

“What are you two giggling about?”

He was trying to sound stern, but Gruncle Charles was smiling at them.

“We’re coming with you- back to school!”

Wanda grabbed Pietro’s hand, relieved to hear the surety in his voice.

“That’s wonderful news.”

“Now wait a minute-“

No one interrupted him, but Gruncle Erik cut himself off anyway, looking stiff and confused. Wanda pulled back from Pietro, but kept tight hold of his hand. Gruncle Charles stepped to their backs and put a hand on each of their shoulders.

“Parents are perfectly welcome to visit.” His voice was firm, but with a hint of amusement. Wanda heard him as he grabbed Grunkle Erik’s wrist, even though he lowered his voice. “And you _will_ visit your children, Erik.”

Gruncle Erik still wasn’t saying much, but he hadn’t actually glared at them in days, so Wanda called it an improvement. His feelings felt like they would take a lot more time to untangle. Maybe by the time he managed it, they would be ready to give him a chance.

They packed what was left of their things and left in the Gruncle Charle’s old, wood paneled van, falling asleep against each other’s shoulders in the back seat as they drove out of the trees toward the sunrise.


End file.
